So... it's been a minute

Actually it's been 1142 days which equates to 1,644,480 minutes according to a calculate time website. 

In that time I've aged... I've fallen down (and gotten up again)... I've lost a couple of good friends... and was heart broken to lose Toby in April 2023. I've learnt a lot... and loved a little... and I've welcomed two new fur babies into my life. Alfie had his first birthday two days ago and Miss Zara is 4.5 months old.

So now on the cusp of a new year I also feel like I'm on the cusp of a few shifts.  There's a new chapter starting and I want to document it.  

In my quieter moments, I think about a lot of things.. conversations I've had with others... memories from the past... hopes for the future... and questions that I honestly don't know the answers to.  If there's anyone reading this then 'hello'... but mostly, this is for me. 

I want to be accountable to myself... and somehow having this out in the universe makes me feel more committed to the journey.

In all honesty, this journey began several months ago... and it began with a book.  The book was given to me by Krystal and Dave last Christmas and I'll be honest and say that I was a little surprised (and somewhat resistant) by the book title. 

The book actually sat around for months... I'd pick it up... look at it... decide that 'I' wasn't anxious so why would Krystal buy me this book... put it down again... and then one day a wee whisper of a voice said... 'go on, read it'.  I let that thought percolate in my head for another couple of weeks... more resistance!

Then I was heading away on a road trip by myself and for once didn't feel like listening to music while I drove. I had a look at podcasts etc on Spotify and magically the audio version of the book was available.  It was also read aloud by the author (which in my opinion is always the best way to hear the message the way it was intended to be heard).  What's more it was FREE... maybe the universe was trying to tell me something.

I set off on my journey... and kilometre by kilometre I came to grips with my resistance and realised that my daughter may have been right all along. I DID need to hear this message.  

I listened to a good portion of the book on my trip away and finished it on my way back... just over 6 hours of listening to John Delony talk about choices, anxiety, mental health and keeping it real.  It helps that he's got a great voice (in my opinion) and it helps that his real life anecdotes were very connectable. 

He talks about if you (or in this case 'me') commit to building a non-anxious life, you'll be able to better respond to whatever life throws at you. You'll grow from hard challenges. You'll learn to find peace during chaos. 

He talked about the six daily choices that people make to create a non-anxious life:

• Choosing Reality
• Choosing Connection
• Choosing Freedom
• Choosing Health and Healing
• Choosing Mindfulness
• Choosing Belief
  

And somewhere in those 6 hours of listening... and the kilometres journeyed... there was a shift.  There was a realisation that there was anxiety in my life... there were some areas of my life that haven't been working for me... and there are things I can do better.

Several months on I can still hear John's voice... I can still hear the messages to be kind to myself... to listen to the alarms when they go off in my brain. 

So now I'm making a choice.... a choice to live the life I really want to live.  To be mindful about how I spend my time and who I chose to spend my time with. To be mindful about choosing health in all it's forms: physical, emotional, spiritual, mental and social. 

Let the journey begin!